Edinburgh Sucks! | Edinburgh’s “Grassy Knoll”

Scottish Government

Edinburgh’s “Grassy Knoll”

By The Basa ⋅ February 16, 2006 ⋅

Thanks to the digging of the Evening News’ Ian Swanson we have found out that Edinburgh would have had it’s own ‘Grassy Knoll’. Nothing to do with getting rid of presidents for Edinburgh, our assassin would have been aiming straight at the heart of any pigeon who dared to go close to the £431 million parliament building.

The 2004 document which describes the scene says “Shoot pigeons if possible during first visit; if not, a second visit may be required.” Readers are only left to wonder how the assassin sitting on his/her ‘grassy knoll’ would be able to figure out which pigeons are on their first visit and which are on their second. Further, what happens to the ones who come three or more times? Maybe they could be issued passes and be asked to scan them on visits.

Today, Ross Minett, director of Advocates for Animals, said it was “unbelievable” anyone at the parliament would order pigeons to be shot. And he said using birds of prey would have cost hundreds of thousands of pounds without providing a long-term solution.

“I also doubt that a live pigeon being torn apart on the Scottish Parliament is quite the best image to portray to visitors,” he added.

EdinburghSucks.com is dying to hear from anyone who sat in the meeting where they were discussing the hiring of the assassin and laying down the rules of engagement - a recording could make the owner a lot of money as a comedy sketch.

What a bloody farce!

Boyle's Cartoon