Edinburgh Sucks! | Porkies are not beyond the City Leader

Ewan Aitken

Porkies are not beyond the City Leader

By The Basa ⋅ May 2, 2007 ⋅

Why after back on Tuesday 10th October 2006 Ewan “Rasputin” Â Aitken told the Evening News:

“I have not deleted anything from my blog.

“I try to answer as many questions as possible, although some may be merged into one answer.

“All questions are still online, and can be accessed via the archive.”

ItÂ was a lie at the time and is even more of a lie today.Â After highlighting some questions posed to the good Council Leader in the last few days here on EdSucks we get an email from a LA telling us that there is none of the quotes that we published actually on Aitken’s blog.Â Lucky we took a copy of them then!Â We don’t know if we have them all but below are the ones that we captured yesterday:

“Day 27″
6 Comments – Show Original Post
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p.ness said…
Deer Uwan,

Whot is the counzil goin two do about the problemz of dislegzicks ?

If the counzil can prind its stuff in urdu and polish then wy not fonedically four us dyslegzic folk.

As a stonsh Labur supporter myzelf I think that we need all the help we gan get cos now we is neglegded.

3:47 PM
zelda strange said…
Dear Mr Aitken as an ex pole dancer that fought hard for success through a life of grind and thrust to get to the top I alas have reached the point in my life where the chances of me appearing out of a cake again are now very slim. In fact these days the only pole I get to rub myself against is on the no 22 bus which can be very disconcerting when it goes over yet another speed bump. This happened the other day as I was sucking a FISHERMAN’S FRIEND which slipped down the wrong hole causing me to convulse into a coughing fit.A group of youths who had been watching my antics mistook my convulsions as part of my act and you can imagine my shock and astonishment as one, while disembarking, casually slipped a Â£2.oo coin down the back of my support tights just before giving me a severe wedgie where it went on to lodge! The fact is that this combination of speed bumps and youth disorder has played havoc with my confidence and I demand to know what you intend to do about it.

4:12 PM
A.Hovel said…
Aitken !

just exactly where do you stand !
How can a man of god support Blair when all he wants to do is buy a new fleet of nuclear submarines and his wife makes money strutting about being his wife at charity events she demands payment to attend ?

if you support him you must be damned with him and if you don’t then why do you campaign to get him,his party and you re-elected ?
” take heed lest your heart be deceived !” DEUTERONOMY 11.13.

4:31 PM
max honneyman said…
Thanks for your previous flippant reply to what was a serious question Aitken and I will pop round to your house and look forward to being invited in but what about prostitute free zones eh ?
I and my friends at the institute have been looking for one of these for ages with limited success since Margo McDonald gave up the business a while ago.
And why is it always youth, youth ,youth eh ?
Where is a 55 year old ex-biker supposed to go in this town for his jollies these days since the swingers club in East Claremont Street got shut down so fast I never even got a decent pop at the
barmaid !
The prostitute free zone is a good idea and could be subsidized by the
earnings from the Zones where they charge you a small fortune plus extras !
The Council should step in and forget grandiose plans for a tram system and provide a subsidized facility where the sexual health needs of the over 50’s male can be catered for in a clean and healthy environment without harassment from the the salvation army popping up behind every bush and bus stop offering free soup just when things are getting interesting.
As a man of the cloth I would hope that you will give full support to
our fledging “cottagers Society” and that if if Lesbian organizations can get their hands on Council taxpayers money then we too should get a few quid tossed in our general direction for are we not also worthy of our snout in the trough ?
It appears that the only time you are interested in sexually dysfunctional old men in dirty raincoats is when you are after our vote.Is there an election on perhaps ?

5:20 PM
Abdhul hammid masooka said…
Dear Mr Aitken,

I am very concerned at the extent of your own personal scruffiness.

As a man of god do you not know than “cleanliness is next to
godliness “?

What kind of example do you set to young people when it is not possible to find a picture of you which does not look like you could be doing with a good scrub and a trip to the barbers.
Personal hygene might not be too high on your or the labour party’s agenda but even in these days of casual elan I think you should be setting a better example.If you were a son of mine you would be physically taken by the scruff of the ear and slapped until you smartened yourself up.
I remember coming to this country after we were expelled from Uganda
only to find a country gripped by Beatlemania ! It appears, some of our City leaders have not quite got over it.
Next week,when you find yourself out of a job, I suggest you get yourself a haircut and a shave before you pop down to the labour exchange and for heavens sake try to be humble at the interviews.
Always remember ” god helps those who helps themselves”.
So take the finger out and give him a hand as you are not be giving him any material to work with.

7:17 PM
zelda strange said…
It’s just not good enough Mr Aitken.
The other day I was using an alternative method of transport when I happened to stall my skateboard on a particurarily raised pavement and my skateboard stopped dead on the spot . The outcome was I found myself propelled towards a recently installed cast iron bollard in Stockbridge which had also ensnared a blind person in the bollards,the dog going one way and “Ray Charles” the other !
Just my luck that it being a particularily unseasonable Tuesday for April, I for reasons of personal hygene, had decided
( while in the privacy of the lift) to remove my pants and enjoy the breeze.
I found myself lying in a heap, stunned and confused as an incredible feeling of sexual extasy and pleasure surged through me. You can only begin to imagine and suffer my embarasment when I found myself recovering conciousness, mini skirt up at my full and unencumbered boobs, surrounded by a mob of drunken Hearts supporters who were cheering on Ray Charles’s DOG that was activley licking me in an intimate place while someone ( Probably a Hibee !}made off with my skateboard.The poor blind chap, annoyed at the antics of “Rover”
proceeded to try to give his dog a good slap on the nose with his stick and unfortunatly for me the dog being very agile, avoided the blow which resulted in me receiving a whack on my crotch area that reminded me of an unfortunate occasion when my EX persuaded me to attend a swingers evening at a sordid hotel in Brighton a few years ago !
What a load of bollards ! I exclaimed. If this is the kind of trouble you get into by using alternative modes of transport then bring on the trams I say.
However, having traveled extensivley in South America when a mere flirt of a girl I found it embassising to have to undergo a pants inspection before I was allowed to sit on a vinyl seat.
As a citizen with a sense of proportion, I did not mind the experience with the dog so much as the whack on the crotch which the police refused to follow upon on the grounds that it was a sexually
motivated accident which is what my parents used to call my brother who is 17 years younger than me.
It’s got to stop Mr Aitken,when a 55 year old librarian cannot make her way to Stockbridge for a kebab with all the trimmings in a GREEN fashion,then something is wrong with the heart of this city’s government!

8:30 PM

Day 25

As an ex railway engineer myself who cut his teeth on the River kwai,I can only agree with your comments that a 700 MPH rail connection to the Weegie scum would be a great idea.The thought of being able to whiz through to Queen Street station and chant “Hibees Forever” and retire within minutes back to the Haymarket bar unscathed before the echoes of those sacred tones had faded is indeed the way forward. Jack McConnel ( your leader )could continue to relocate jobs to Glasgow and it would only add three minutes to an Edinburgers working day. This would create jobs in Glasgow without putting the unwashed lazy scum Glaswegians to the trouble of getting off their arses and having to do any work themselves while they would continue to enjoy the benefit of Edinburgh taxpayers money which fuels their buckie and methadone lifestyles not to mention the very large proportion of Edinburgh council tax which is syphoned off to prop up their dysfunctional, hand out lifestyles..

Day 26

p.ness said…
OK Aitken, time to come clean.
this Satuarday surgery of yours is a very unsatisfactory arrangement indeed and you know it !

A friend of mine went along for you to operate on his back which had been giving him gip for a while and it turned out you are not even a proper doctor !! The fact that the problem turned out to be a knot in his braces is something that even I could have figured out so why couldn’t you eh eh eh ?
The trip to Lourdes you recommended turned out to be a complete waste of time as all it was,was a stonking great cricket pitch filled with ganja smoking West Indians wearing tea cosies ! If that is your idea of a joke then I have to say my friend was not amused and I think this is a totally inappropriate way for the head of Edinburgh Council to behave !
As a leading theologian you could have at least prayed for a miracle cure but I suppose god is too busy trying to pull one out of the hat for Jack McConnel right now although personally, I think he has left it a bit late.
Suffice to say,because of the above, you will not be getting my vote and the distasteful rumour that is going around about the pictures of you and a dog are not doing you any favors either.It’s no good saying you were a student at the time and it was only a prank !
That’s why we have laws in this country.If you had been an ordinary working class lad rather than a theology student your feet wouldn’t have touched the ground boy !
What your needing is a short sharp shock laddie,or the next thing might land you in hot water!Aye,and while yer at it wipe that smirk offyer face !

12:08 PM

Who is the liar now Mr. Aitken…….?Â What other lies are you telling on the doorsteps and at the meetings you stage-manage to ensure that only your view gets over.

Interestingly, he hasn’t updated his blog since Sunday……

VOTE THESE LYING BASTARDS OUT – VOTE INDEPENDENTS ALL OVER THE CITY