Council’s scarecrow causes CardowNolan bovver.

With the passing of Shami KhaNolan into the real world comes the rise of SNP leader Steve CardowNolan and he is not a happy camper.

With just slight investigation it seems that CardowNolan is not 100% wrong to be a bit unhappy.  It seems that £100,000 is a lot to pay for something that is not even original.  Thanks to one of the posters (rs) on the Evening News story we find out that that “Joe Public”, our very own Council Scarecrow, was not a 21st Century build, but has actually standing keeping the buoys afloat in Hamburg harbour.  Click over to http://www.hamburg.de/Behoerden/Kulturbehoerde/Raum/artists/balk4.htm and you will see Joe before he was named.  Over there he is just a man – the title of the work in Hamburg is “Vier Männer auf Bojen” (“Four men on buoys”).

The commentators over on the story seem to think that the previous administration made a bit of a cock-up with £100,000 of our money – can we have it back please – what are Stephan Balkenhol’s return policies, after all it has been less than a year and even Asda and Costco will take back items.

What is most annoying is that councillors from the last administration never shouted out about Joe before the cheque was mailed. 

The SNP group leader, who is also the city’s festivals and events champion, said the £100,000 artwork looked like “a window cleaner who has dropped his ladder”.

It had been “political correctness gone mad” for the previous council to choose a sculpture to represent “Joe Public”, he added.

He of course forgot to add “but it wasn’t my money, so I shut my gob.  I’m only speaking up now so that I can get some money for Paul Nolan to keep his cabal up to scratch”.

Councillor Lowrie said: “This sculpture is far from ideal, particularly because he’s male, and I know myself that has caused a lot of complaints from council staff. I haven’t heard many people say they like it. Perhaps he will grow on us but I’m not so sure.”

He of course forgot to add “But when it is only £100,000 of taxpayers money, my cut of that is so small it doesn’t matter.”

Labour group leader Ewan Aitken said: “My own preference for an outdoor work of art would’ve been for something more imaginative and impressionist than this.”

He of course forgot to add “I was at the time too busy trying to cover up the £400,000 Cityconnect money.  100K not worth worrying about – didnae come oot o ma pocket.”

Tory councillor Elaine Aitken, who was part of a cross-party group involved in helping to choose the winning concept, said: “This was the best of the designs that we saw. I think people will grow to appreciate it.”

She of course forgot to add “and if zay don’t, ve vill take dem out and shoot dem.” 

How the hell can’t they just say we are spending 100k of the taxpayers money, we should do the utmost to ensure that we get value for money for our council tax payers.

Unusually, Ricky Demarco comes up with the best quote:

“It’s hardly an inspiring image of Edinburgh.

“This statue could be in any city anywhere in the world. What does it say about Edinburgh? For that amount of money, the city should’ve been able to come up with something much better than that.”

He is totally correct.  What it says about is Edinburgh is:

1. We want to copy Hamburg.
2. We can’t find an artist in Edinburgh to come up with something orginial.
3. We were well and truly ripped off.

Although the quotes from the abovementioned councillors are bad.  Even worse are the slimeball councillors who open their mouth but squeal to Brian Ferguson “Dinnae say ma name – Ahm fiert”

Other senior councillors, who asked not to be named, said the statue was a “major embarrassment” to the city.

One said: “Staff cringe everytime they see it and they are amazed that so much money has been spent on it.”

However, one Lib Dem councillor, who asked to remain anonymous, said: “The sooner this blasted thing is removed the better

If anyone overheard these ‘anonymous’ conversations, be sure to contact us to let us know the names.

How come it got through planning, definitely doesn’t fit in with the surroundings.  Maybe if you want to build an extension on your house, call it art, give it a name and wham bang, it goes through.  That’s what to do.