At least we feed the porcine beasts well – Joan McAlpine

It tells us on the BBC website that for lunch in the parliamentary restaurant, Ms McAlpine was understood to have had smoked venison with Strathdon blue cheese dressing and poached red wine pear, followed by breast of Scottish chicken with grilled asparagus chorizo, olives and parma ham. However, instead of troughing into this veritable (subsidised at our expense) feast, South of Scotland MSP and His Eckness’ official biographer and parliamentary aide should have been in the Parliaments main chamber to ask ministers about cases of osteoarthritis and its impact on the NHS, during themed question time. It was her third absence and she has only been in parliament for 5 minutes. This shows great regard for her constituents.

When her turn came, the Presiding officer said: “I note that the member is not in the chamber to ask the question. This is not the first, nor is it the second time that Ms McAlpine has acted in this way, and I will expect an explanation from Ms McAlpine and an apology for the discourtesy to this chamber by the end of the day.” Is she a twatette or what!

McAlpine is a former Murdoch girl having edited the Sunday Times in Scotland and is way too good for dirty constituents anyway having her biography in Debretts. It seems like long lunches are bred into her bones – she’ll do well in FollyRood. She has also jumped on the hacking bandwagon claiming her phone was hacked as well. Shouldn’t she know all about that being a Murdoch Girl. Her use of twitter was blasted a few months ago when she accused anyone who didn’t agree her on the referendum as being anti-Scottish. It pissed Tom Harris off so much he made a video about it (below).

The overweight first minister (who claimed £400 exactly every month for food as an MP) made do with asparagus and soup.

UPDATE:
The sow actually apologised –

She told MSPs: “I wish to apologise sincerely for my absence from the chamber during health and well-being question time this afternoon. I realise that this is not the first time I have done this, and I understand the gravity of the matter.

“The fault is entirely mine. I am afraid I completely lost track of time. I realise I have no excuse for not being present in the chamber when required. I apologise for showing such disrespect not only to yourself Presiding Officer but also to Parliament and my fellow MSPs.

“I take this as a salutary lesson which I will reflect upon.”

Didn’t bother to say sorry to constituents though… nah.. they don’t matter – won’t need them till they turn up to voting booths and they all have short memories anyway.

UPDATE 2:
The sow has form ….. from Scotland on Sunday
THAT the ex-journalist and now SNP MSP Joan McAlpine should enjoy a lavish lunch with Alex Salmond came as little surprise to her former newspaper colleagues who have long associated her with fine wine.

When she was a Glasgow-based daily newspaper executive, the underlings who she bossed around referred to her as Chardonnay.

It was not her resemblance to a footballer’s wife that earned her the nickname, rather it was that her colleagues thought she was a “wee white whine”.